Never Go Back

She could hear the rain falling lightly outside her hotel room and shifted closer to her lover’s body under the comforter, curling up against his side and resting a hand on his bare chest, running his fingertips through the graying hair there. Being able to actually feel his heart beating under her touch was almost lulling, its familiar rhythm as his chest rose and fell comforting in a strange sort of way. Squinting shut her eyes tighter against the sunlight that was making its way slowly into the room, she ran a small hand lightly over her bed-partner under the covers, reveling in the strong masculinity of his forearms, the softness of his stomach, and the way his muscular thighs tensed at her touch. He twitched as Stevie reached his hip and she stifled a grin. Silly man. Opening her eyes slightly, she moved her hand back up, making certain to brush over his nipples and linger there, as ever amused by their sensitivity.

In the past year or so, on the occasions they’d slept together, he’d been awake before she had risen in the morning and she wanted to make the most of this opportunity to watch him sleep. His face in repose was different somehow - younger, MUCH more peaceful. She smoothed out the lines on his forehead with her fingertips and kissed the light stubble on his cheek. Stevie had always loved his soft beard and this was much more abrasive on her skin but it certainly looked very sexy. She curled a finger around the shell of his ear and flicked it affectionately, trying to wake him up. As beautiful as he looked laying there next to her, it wasn’t nearly as much fun teasing him when he wasn’t aware enough to respond.

"Lindseeeeey," she whispered into his ear, letting her long, blonde hair fall into his face as she murmured words at him. “Honey, c’mon, time to wake up…" Rolling her eyes at his lack of response, she shifted slightly so she was laying atop him. Maybe putting her full weight on him would wake the old man up. She yelped though as his arms came up and around her, holding her tightly to him. That had been a slightly faster reaction than she’d been expecting…

"Got you," he growled before pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

Smiling, she patted his cheek patronizingly. “I think I moved into this position, actually. So I got YOU.” Laughing, she kissed the perturbed frown off Lindsey’s handsome, still sleepy face. “Want me to move?”

"Stay."

"Very articulate this morning, aren’t we?"

"You stole all my words last night with your fucking skillful tongue. Nothin’ left. Interview today’s gonna be a mess. All cos of you."

"Of course. Blame me, as usual."

"Blame you for me losing my fucking mind last night."

"Got a foul tongue on you in the morning, Mr Buckingham, don’t you? I’d forgotten that."

"Not the only thing my tongue’s good at," he said, grinning wolfishly at her, setting his large hands at her waist and looking up her with a glint in his eyes. “Care for a demonstration, my lady?"

"Oooh, aren’t you SUCH a gentleman?"

"At your service, madam."

"Mmm, well then, good sir. Please do with me as you will. Please, do me." She laughed as his eyes widened at the blatant command before a triumphant smile crossed his face.

"As you please." And he promptly flipped them so he was hovering over her, arms resting either side of her body. The blanket fell to their feet at the end of the bed and she tried to ignore how very, very, very bare she was right now under the thin white sheet. The first few times they’d made love after The Dance tour had started up, she’d felt awkward and overweight with him but the way he’d loved her and the things he’d said had been reassurance enough. Now, however, it had, once again, been quite some time since they’d been intimate (beside in the darkness of the hotel room last night) and she felt slightly unsure of whether…

"Oh my god!" she squeaked as Lindsey’s mouth closed over her nipple and sucked hard. Okay, so no problems with him no longer feeling attracted to her, then… He looked up at her with his darkened eyes at her cry, and apparently satisfied with what he saw, he fondled her other breast and let his other hand travel further down, his fingertips drawing light circles on her right hip. She squirmed beneath him as his stupidly talented mouth moved back up to hers, crushing her lips beneath his in a spine-tingling possessive kiss. Sighing happily, she reached between them for the hardness she could feel rising against her stomach. Yessss. So damn good against her. His tongue was hot and thick and perfect and wet in her mouth and she stroked him eagerly. Now. It felt like seconds or maybe days before he stopped kissing her lips and moved to her neck, nipping her gently there, marking her. He reached down and took her hand away from him with a warning glance and she almost laughed at the pained expression on his face. She knew she was glowing, that her joy was more than obvious and she reached a hand up, caressing the short dark curls at the nape of his neck. “Gorgeous," Stevie said huskily, pressing a kiss to his chest, just by his heart. “So gorgeous."

"Love you so much," he replied, caressing her and tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear. “Look at me, yeah?"

"I am."

"You see me?" he asked seriously, his brow furrowed.

Stevie smiled gently. “I see you.”

Lindsey nodded. “I see you too,” he said quietly, running a hand down her stomach, keeping his eyes on her hers for a moment longer before they dropped to where their hips met. “Love you forever, you know.”

It wasn’t a question. She knew.

"Wish we could stay here forever. That we never had to go home." He smiled sadly at her and took her lips in a long, slow, sensuous kiss, pouring his longing into it. “We’ll just stay in this bed forever."

"Occasionally ring for some food and drink," Stevie added with a smile.

"I might even let you leave so you can go to the toilet once in a while."

"Generous," she laughed, patting her lover’s bum affectionately. “Gonna let me have shower too?"

"As long as I can join you," he acquiesced. “Sound fair?"

"Absolutely. Shake on it?"

"You can show me your agreement in other ways, I think," Lindsey smirked, nudging his length against her and reveling into the slow, contented smile that crossed her face.

"Mmm, sounds good to me…"

"Looks good to me," he leered before surging into her with one long, strong thrust. “You look so beautiful beneath me, Stevie, so damn beautiful."

She tugged at his hair and pulled him down for a fierce, hot kiss. “Shut up, you idiot. Just fuck me already.”

"Bossy."

He loved it.

He loved her.

 _

They left Germany four days later. He kissed her on the forehead before they disembarked from the plane and they gripped hands tightly all the way into the terminal. She walked away to the doors that would lead her to the waiting limo but when her bandmate looked back at her, she didn’t wave goodbye; she simply raised her hand in silent acknowledgment as Lindsey pointed to her from across the room and then to his heart.

Stevie was losing him. But she’d never lose that part of him that was only for her.

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